Some of our readers are aware that we’d invested a long of time and effort into helping a homeless Romanian couple. He was desperately ill with Leukemia; they had a 2-year-old son and were living on the street.
With the help of an area pastor here in Koblenz, we were able to house them in his church for a number of months before finding them an apartment and giving her a part-time job at the church cleaning that eventually got them financial support from the state. With state support, we also lined up a German language class for her.
They had attended church, made a personal commitment to Christ, were baptized, and excited to have a job. Working with the pastor, we were able to find him a Christian doctor who regularly examined him without cost to assure the Leukemia remained under control. We also found her medical and dental support for which she was thankful.
Too Much Help Too Fast?
Thankfulness quickly waned once financial support arrived. Once in the apartment, they stopped attending church. In reality, they never made an effort to get to know the people in the church who could have helped them. They showed no interest in integrating into the church or community.
They never had money before. Suddenly she wasn’t showing up to work at the church, making excuses about being dizzy. After numerous doctor’s visits and even a visit to the hospital, nothing was found. Then she was too dizzy to go to a scheduled doctor’s appointment for dizziness – which happened to be at 9am, when she was sound asleep in bed.
After nearly a year of doctor’s appointments to check his blood work and assure he wasn’t relapsing, he never said how relieved he was the news was always positive. If he was in a health emergency, he didn’t seem the least bit concerned, only mentioning other things that were non-issues.
We did everything we could to help them learn German, but they showed no initiative nor interest. We continually warned them she must work or when the job was canceled, so would be the financial support from the state. All of it was to no avail. She even refused to attend meetings where we urged them to change. He simply asked for another chance after many had been given, but without committing to change. She was MIA.
We pleaded with them to return to Romania where they had family who could support them, but they refused. Eventually we reached the difficult decision to part company. They clearly did not trust us, and we worried they were defrauding the state, which we wanted no part of.
The Tragedy of Spurned Help
It isn’t clear how this will end. But it is clear that it has ended for us. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. After a full year in Germany, they had no friends, couldn’t speak a word of German but weren’t going to leave as long as financial support continued from the state.
The most disappointing part is their failure to realize God’s blessing was upon them. They failed to recognize that God had chosen them for blessing. But the blessing all resulted from their commitment to Christ. Once it was clear their relationship with Christ and the church was unimportant, there was really no reason to go further. We were not doing this as simple charity, but to show the love of Christ to those who’d showed an initial commitment to Christ.
Sometimes help isn’t help. In any case, help is never a one-way street. We wish them the best and hope that they turn to Christ sometime in the future, before their lives face a crisis. God can still speak to them. But the decision is in their hands.